It’s been a while since I did
some proper text-based writing. I’ve got a few thoughts I wanted to get out
there that have been using up space on the NOTES
section of my phone. It is a wonder I can form a coherent thought at all anymore
without having first jotted it down externally. Having said that Dumbledore’s Pensieve
worked so as to free up more brain for braining. Maybe the knowledge that I don’t
have to keep an active tab on these things anymore frees me up to think of
other utter nonsense to then put on another note. It’s a vicious cycle.
So here are some other half-baked
ideas:
Goolugy – A eulogy whereby your
Google searches are read out. Whether this is a good idea or not I don’t know
but it has a great name!
Belvita advert – Watch this
advert:
Now compare it to this:
The first ad, whilst terrible, is very localised to the UK. Which required
some serious effort and time to sum up all British people (thuggish radio
presenter) and link them to a British breakfast (Sausage McMuffin thing) and then
once you’ve identified as that to make you look like the apes at the start of
Space Odyssey finding the monolith (biscuit rubbish). The second ad is very
easy to send to every country in the world and dub over with different lyrics.
This suggests the breakfast market in the UK needed that much more attention to
break into than everywhere else (I imagine the French ate that rubbish right up…
probably for breakfast. Au revoir croissant dipped in a bowl of Nesquik). Those dubbed over adverts have an almost
repellent effect on me though. Normally the dub is so bad as to make the
viewing experience either confusing or so removed from reality that I can’t
visualise my life with the product. So the logic must be that the savings made
from making one ad and dubbing over it in all of your market’s languages must
be less than the sales lost from people like me who don’t like the look of your
product because of the bad ad… but that just can’t be right. I mean look at
this:
Maybe the French, in response to having the croissant and Nesquik markets
snuffed out overnight, just wanted to annoy me. But seriously? Having watched
that do you feel Renault gives a damn about your connection to the product?
TL;DR – Surely it is worth the effort to localise all your adverts no matter
the cost otherwise people think you don’t care enough to advertise at them
properly.
Glade rock air freshener – (before
I start I had this on my phone as Ambi Pur rock air freshener so I guess that
says something about their brand power). Remember this travesty?
The idea is that the apparently abhorrent sight of your normal air freshener
cannot be abided anymore and must be disguised amongst your… collection of
rocks. But surely you need to have numerous designs for this to work otherwise people
will now recognise your “rock” as the air freshener they saw in that god-awful
advert. For this idea to truly work
you would need to NOT advertise your PLETHORA of different air freshener
designs and take smug delight in the fact that your vapid, stupid friends could
NOT in fact detect your air freshener. But then that’s not point is it? Now get
out your wallets!
This first of this week's clips is only £40 and you can buy the other five for an incredible £60!
1. "Yeah you walk away and I'll just sidle up to this guy and slit his Ooo! New journal page!"
2. "This meeting of the deer-folk is adjourned! Forget what you saw here human"
3. Dogmeat has had enough of your crap.
4. "Bring him down!"
5. "Look!" "What? What is it!? I don't see anything!"
- Sidenote: This happened during a offline single player run of Halo CE. It is odd to see the game struggle so much with this scene but interesting to see how things like the ring spinning and the lights continue as separate animation entities even if everything else has stopped,
